This Feeling Inside
by whistlingawaythedark
Summary: Maria and Georg are spending a lot of time together but neither will admit to their feelings. How long will it be until someone breaks the ice or the Baroness becomes suspicious? COMPLETE.
1. Lovely Night

This is my first fanfic ever so please review and tell me what you think! I'm open to any suggestions and ideas. Thanks!

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The family drifted slowly into the living room, the children still begging their father to let them sing in the festival. He shook his head again, smiling.

"Children!" Maria called as she removed her guitar from its case. "Who shall we here from next?"

The children quickly gathered around her whispering excitedly. The Captain poured himself a glass of wine, an amused look spreading across his face. As he turned back around to face them he heard an enthusiastic cry emerge from the circle that the children had formed around Maria. Maria gave the children a doubtful look but they nodded their heads vigorously, so, still seeming a little unsure Maria wove her way through them to the Captain.

"The vote is unanimous". She said, her face lit with excitement. "You, Captain."

"Me?" He replied confused. "I don't understand".

"Please?" she asked timidly as she held out the guitar.

Suddenly, he realized what she was getting at.

"No, no, no, no, no…" he said as he shuffled around her and started to walk towards the couch, setting his wine glass down on a nearby table.

"I'm told that a long time ago you were quite good." Maria said trying to encourage him.

"That was a very, very long time ago." He replied defensively.

"I remember father." Liesl interrupted.

"Please father!" The children begged. "Play us something we know!"

He stared down at seven expectant faces. Then as he turned to look at Maria he realized he wasn't going to win. So he took the guitar from her hands while the children happily gathered on the floor. Max and Elsa who had been watching the scene quietly sat down on the couch that was opposite of Georg. Maria, instead of sitting with the children, moved over to stand by the wall. Everyone was smiling, ready to enjoy such a rare treat.

The Captain grinned at the ten happy people before him, and as he sat down he began to play. It was just a few chords at first, but soon he added his soft voice to the lovely flow of music. The words seemed to ease his mind and they made his children's faces glow with joy.

Edelweiss…

Edelweiss…

Every morning you greet me…

He turned his head to gaze at Maria. She was staring back at him and as their eyes met she smiled.

Small and white…

Clean and bright…

You look happy to meet me…

As he looked into her eyes, his emotions overwhelmed him. How beautiful she was standing there in a pretty blue dress, leaning her head against the wall, completely lost in the music.

Blossom of snow may you bloom and grow…

Bloom and grow forever…

Maria's feelings were similar to the Captain's. As she stood there, her entire mind was focused on the enchanting voice coming from the Captain's handsome face. The world around her seemed to disappear as the sweet music enclosed her in a dream. Never had she felt this way before.

Edelweiss…

Edelweiss…

Bless my homeland forever…

Meanwhile, the Baroness, who had been intently watching Georg, noticed the way he and Maria were gazing at each other. Jealously filled her at once, but she bowed her head down, staring at her lap, as she tried to push away the sinking feeling she had in her heart.

With difficulty, the Captain tore his gaze from Maria and nodded to Liesl. She shifted herself into a good position and started to sing along with him.

Edelweiss…

Edelweiss…

Every morning you greet me…

He smiled at her and looked down at all his children, who were completely captivated by him. At that moment, he understood how much they needed him and love filled his heart. He knew from now on he would always be there for them, no matter what.

Small and white…

Clean and bright…

You look happy to meet me…

Blossom of snow may you bloom and grow…

Bloom and grow forever…

Edelweiss…

Edelweiss…

Bless my homeland forever…

The song came to an end and again, the Captain's eyes rested on Maria. As the last note faded away everyone in the room was silent with awe. Maria was so touched by the music that all she could do was stand there with her mouth hanging open. The Captain, who was not sure what to make of her expression, just shrugged. As he did so, Maria's face broke into a wide smile.

"Anytime you say the word Georg, you can be part of my new act." Max said breaking the comfortable silence.

Georg laughed softly and turned his glance away from Maria.

"I have a wonderful idea Georg." The Baroness cried excitedly as she got up from the couch and walked over to his side. "Let's really fill this house with music. You must give a grand and glorious party for me while I'm here."

The room erupted with noise at the idea.

"A party?" Georg asked.

"Yes, I think it's high time I met all your friends here in Salzburg, and they met me."

"I see what you mean…" Georg replied thinking.

"Oh please!" exclaimed the children.

He paused for a moment, knowing they were all waiting for the final answer.

"Alright…we'll start planning it in the morning!"

The children jumped up cheering and ran to hug their father.

"Can we help you plan it?" Friedrich asked.

"Of course you can!" Replied the Captain.

Maria moved forward. "I know how excited you all are, but it's really time for you to go to bed. You're going to need a good night's sleep if you want to help your father start planning the party tomorrow."

No one needed to be told twice. They finished saying goodnight and followed Maria upstairs. The Baroness and Max retreated to their bedrooms as well, but Georg stayed sitting on the couch staring down at the guitar, deep in thought.

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Well that's the first chapter! I hope you enjoyed it! This chapter followed the "Edelweiss" scene very closely but I have some ideas for the next couple chapters to make it somewhat different than the movie. Anyways thanks again for reading and please review!!!! 


	2. Sleepless in Saltzburg

First of all...thanks so much to all the reviewers! I really appreciate it!!!! And yes the title of this fanfic comes from Moulin Rouge!

Here is the next chapter. I apologize if it has any gramatical errors. I had a difficult time editing it since my house has been so crazy lately. Hope you enjoy!

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After Maria finished tucking the children safely into their beds she went to her own room and changed into her nightgown. Although she knew she ought to get some sleep, she didn't feel tired at all. She was still thinking about the Captain's sweet voice and how wonderful the whole evening had been. Ever since the day of their big fight, the Captain had seemed so different. She never would have known that hidden behind his stern face their was a loving and caring person. It made her smile to think that she had helped in removing his mask and bringing him and his children together again. For a moment she became lost in these thoughts then she suddenly realized it really was time for her to go to bed. She still didn't think she was going to be able to sleep though so she decided she'd go downstairs and get a quick glass of water. 

Meanwhile, the Captain was still sitting on the couch in the living room, absentmindedly strumming the guitar. All he could think about was Maria and how beautiful she had looked that night. However, his thoughts were suddenly interrupted when he heard someone shuffling about in the kitchen. He got up, placing the guitar in its case and wondering who on earth would be up at this hour. It was nearly 11:00.

When he walked into the kitchen he was startled to find Maria searching through one of the cupboards.

"What are you looking for?" He asked making her jump in surprise.

She turned around quickly. "Oh…I uh just came down because I couldn't sleep and I thought a glass of water might help…I had no idea you were still up."

"I couldn't sleep either." He replied slightly amused. "Do you need help finding the cups?"

"Yes, thank you." She said as he came over and opened the cupboard next to the one she was rummaging through, getting down two glasses.

"Would you like some champagne?" He offered her as he poured himself a glass.

"Ah…no that's alright I'll just have water."

She thanked him as he handed her a glass of cold ice water. Then she sat down across from him at the little table that was at the far end of the kitchen.

For a moment they just sat there in silence. Then the Captain decided he was brave enough to begin a conversation.

"So…why couldn't you sleep?" He asked.

He tried to look her in the eye but he found it extremely difficult because he was afraid he would reveal his thoughts to her.

"Oh I don't know." She responded, as she was not quite sure what to tell him. "It was a very exciting evening I suppose…what about you?"

"About the same reason… "

His voice trailed off and he stared down at the half empty wine glass in his hands.

"It reminded me a lot of old times." He said suddenly, looking up. "When Agathe was alive, the whole family used to sing all the time, almost every night in fact."

Maria didn't know what to say. She was astonished that the Captain had even spoken to her about Agathe. She had never heard him talk about her before, not even to the children. Since she didn't know what to say, Maria remained silent hoping he didn't think she was being rude.

After awhile he spoke again.

"You wouldn't know but you are a lot like her. I think the children have noticed it too and that's one of the reasons they've become so attached to you…you're almost like a second mother to them."

He paused for a moment as if getting ready to say something important then he took one of her hands in his. She felt a strange sensation run through her body as he did this.

"Maria" he said. "I just want to thank you for what you've given to this family. You've done so much for all of us and both me and my children greatly appreciate it."

She smiled at him gazing into his eyes.

"Your welcome… I don't think I've done as much as you say but I'm glad I've been able to help out."

"I don't think you'll ever realize how much you've done for us." He exclaimed laughing as he let go of her hand and stood up.

"Probably not." She replied, getting up as well.

He looked up at the clock at the other end of the kitchen. It told him it was almost 11:30.

"It's getting late, so I think I'm going to try to get some sleep now."

He took both of their glasses and set them on the counter.

"Me too." She agreed.

They both walked silently up the stairs together reflecting on their conversation. Maria didn't know why but she felt all happy and jittery inside and although she was tired, she couldn't wait until the next day.

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Well that's chapter 2, sorry it was a kind of short. I'll probably be posting the next chapter a few days after christmas and it will hopefully be longer. Happy holidays everyone and please review! 


	3. Late Start

A/N: Okay, so it has literally been like four years since I started this story and I've finally come back to it. I'm not making any promises because I do have a lot going on in my life but here is another chapter and I'm going to try my best to finish this fic. as well as write some others! Enjoy and I would really appreciate reviews… they are a lot of the reason I have finally come back to write more!

P.S. If anyone is confused I used to be Molly Poppins.

Disclaimer: I don't TSOM, just using it for entertainment purposes, y'all know the drill.

Maria awoke the next morning to the muffled sound of birds chirping. After standing up and stretching she ambled over to her window and drew open the curtains. She immediately jumped back, flinching at the blinding light that suddenly filled the corners of the room. As her eyes adjusted her brain began to materialize as well. It took a fraction of a second for her to realize that she must have overslept and even less for a panicky confusion to overwhelm her. Usually she was the first to rise. Oftentimes Frau Schmidt would not have even started cooking breakfast when Maria stumbled down the stairs to check the clock in the kitchen. She was used to pushing open the curtains to the light grey morning and watching the sun slowly make its way over the mountains and into the brilliant blue sky.

Not wasting anymore time she dashed from the room, still in her nightgown. She was so intent on finding out what time it was that she ran straight into the Captain at the bottom of the stairs. Both of them nearly fell over but the Captain caught her just in time and used the banister to steady himself. Automatically she began to pull herself from his grip but as her eyes met his gaze she stopped, paralyzed. She couldn't put her finger on what it was, but she did recognize the wonderful sensation she had experienced the night previous when he had held her hand.

"Are you alright?" His words sounded distant, as if she were in a dream. She closed her eyes for a moment, savoring the thrill of happiness that coursed through her.

"Maria?" The anxiety in his voice seemed to bring her back to full consciousness. "Are you okay?"

He moved his hands to her shoulders and pushed down, obviously trying to make her sit. She did so obediently and he seated himself next to her on the bottom step.

"Oh, I'm fine. I guess just a bit surprised is all. What time is it?" She asked suddenly remembering the reason she was rushing in the first place.

"About noon." The Captain answered. The concern hadn't yet completely left his voice.

She jumped up. "It's noon already? I knew I overslept but I didn't think by that much! I'm so sorry Captain! Where are the children? Are they awake?" She turned towards the stairs but the Captain stopped her.

"It's okay Maria. I woke them up. They're in town right now with Elsa and Max preparing for the party. I knew you had a late night last night so I gave you the morning off."

Slowly Maria registered his words as she resumed her position on the bottom stair. "Oh… thank you very much. You really didn't need to do that… but I appreciate it."

"It's no problem." The Captain replied softly.

For a moment the two just sat there comfortably, lost in their thoughts. Maria was still trying to calm her mind while the Captain felt awkward and unsure of what to do. He was trying with difficulty to suppress the warm feeling that had taken over him just moments before when he had held her in his arms.

"Where is Frau Schmidt?" Maria asked, snapping him back into the present.

"Oh, after she cooked breakfast I told her she could have the rest of the day off. I think she went to visit a friend."

"And the butler?" Maria inquired.

"It's his day off too."

"Well… I was going to see if either of them needed help but I guess I can just do their usual duties while I wait for the children to get home." Just as she stood up and stretched the Captain spoke.

"Actually…" he paused nervously. "I was hoping that you would teach me some songs on the guitar. Edelweiss is about the only thing I can remember and I definitely want to continue to impress my children."

Turning to face him her mouth spread into a huge grin. "I'd love to."

TBC…

A/N: Another thought. I'm kinda rusty so this chapter is perhaps not my best writing. I'm sure it will improve as I get back into it though!


	4. A Day off

**A/N: Wow, I'm writing a lot faster than I expected… although the chapters are probably going to be a bit short, at least this one is… But I already have the next one started, and I actually began writing it before this one, strange, I know… anyways enjoy and thanks to those who reviewed, I really appreciate your support! Keep letting me know what you think!**

Maria sighed as she watched the Captain fumble his fingers. They had been at it for almost an hour and he couldn't seem to remember where the notes were on the guitar in relation to their names.

"This would be so much easier if we had music…or a second guitar" she interjected, accidentally voicing her thoughts out loud.

The Captain stopped abruptly and turned towards her. "I agree with you, I guess we should wait then until I can get my hands on some music, you really don't have to help me anyways, I'm sure I'll start to remember the more I play…"

He set the guitar down and leaned forward, his head in his hands.

Maria hated to see him distressed. "Well we just haven't been trying hard enough. The information is in your brain, we just have to find a way to activate it. Come on let's try it again, these things take time…" She picked the guitar up and held it out to him.

He paused for a moment considering her, an amused look on his face.

"What?" She asked, attempting to suppress a giggle.

"Nothing… It's just… like I said last night, you are so much like Agathe. She always made me keep working on things even if I was convinced it was hopeless." A wave of sadness passed over his face as he continued. "Maybe that's why I gave up on so many things after she died…. there was no one there to remind me of my responsibilities…"

Maria didn't know what to say. She wanted to put a comforting hand on his shoulder but she felt it would be inappropriate for her to do so. Instead she just gave him an understanding nod.

He tried to change the mood with a light smile and then turned back to the guitar. "I'm ready to try this again."

"Alright!" Maria answered encouragingly.

"As I said before the first chord is a Db. It's on the first fret."

The Captain slowly placed his fingers where she pointed and strummed the guitar only to draw back in disgust as the sounds of the different notes clashed terribly.

"It's okay." Maria said quickly. "It's getting better, your third finger is a little too high though…" Without a second thought she took her hand and guided the finger that was out of place to its correct position.

The Captain felt his throat choke up and his body go numb. Her hands on his so unexpectedly sent a pleasant but paralyzing rush through his body. He tried hard to focus on remembering the placement of his fingers.

"Alright, try now." Maria smiled as she let go of his hand.

Without taking his eyes off of her he strummed the guitar again. A rich array of sound flowed from the instrument causing the grin on Maria's face to turn into joyful laughter.

"See, its still there." She teased him.

"It is." He grinned back at her.

TBC…


	5. Two voices

**A/N: Yay! This chapter is a bit longer than the last one. I'm pretty wiped out so it might be another week before I get the next chapter out. I'm working on two fics now so it's a little more difficult to update. Anyways, I hope you enjoy and please review! **

**Also don't get confused about my username, I keep changing it because I'm trying to decide what I want it to be.**

The children walked through the front door chattering with excitement. Max was on their tail accompanied by his usual impish grin. The Baroness dragged behind them all, grumpy and exhausted.

"Children, children calm down." Max cooed. "I'm sure your father is enjoying his peace and quiet!"

As their voices died out everyone suddenly turned their attention towards the living room doors, which stood slightly ajar. The sweet sound of two voices, both strong and smooth, was drifting peacefully towards them…

_I go to the hills… When my heart is lonely..._

Brigita stepped forward to peek through the doors.

_I know I will hear… What I've heard before…_

Slowly she pushed one of them all the way open revealing the Captain and Maria side by side on the couch. The Captain was playing the guitar and both were singing, their eyes locked together, completely immersed in the music. As the Captain hit a wrong note, Maria slurred her voice trying to control her laughter. He smiled back and continued to play.

_My heart will be blessed… with the sound of music_ ... _and I'll sing once more…_

It was only as the last note ended that they became aware of the nine pairs of eyes fixated on them.

"Oh my goodness, when did you all arrive? I didn't even hear anyone come in." The Captain avoided Elsa's eyes as he spoke.

"We just got her fatha!" Gretl replied eagerly. "And we have the party all planned!! There is going to be music and chocolate cake and….and…."

"Dancing!" Freidrich supplied.

"And dancing!" Gretl agreed excitedly.

Max interjected.

"Georg, I beg you. Even if you don't allow the children to sing, you and Maria should consider it. You would be almost as good."

Maria blushed and the Captain raised his eyebrows. Elsa took this opportunity to turn Georg's attention towards her. Striding up next to him she spoke in his defense.

"Max, why do you always make everything about money? Can't you give it a rest? Georg is very set in his ways." She placed a soothing hand on his back and rubbed softly. "If you want any chance at all you have to leave him be."

Max scowled back at her.

"I know very well that you are like me in that you love to toy with him on these things. I suppose though that I didn't factor in the loyalty that is required in a serious relationship."

The Captain shifted uncomfortably and shrugged off Elsa's hand.

"Alright, as you all know Frau Schmidt is off tonight which means..." He paused. "That I have no choice but to take you all out to dinner!"

All the children cried in excitement except Marta, who looked worried.

"What about the party plans?

"You can tell me all about them once we get there. Now I want you all to run upstairs, wash up, and meet me outside. Liesl, please help Greta and Marta."

She nodded and led the six of them out of the room. Maria got up to follow.

"Captain I can help them get ready." She piped up as she neared the door.

"No, no. It's your day off too. If you need to wash up yourself do so, but if not just wait outside while I get the car."

Maria nodded and rushed upstairs to change into one of her nicer dresses. She didn't want to go too fancy but she also felt that her current outfit was too plain. At first she panicked thinking she didn't have anything that would be suitable but then she came across the pretty blue gown that she had worn the night before. After changing she washed her face and took a quick look in the mirror. Smiling with confidence she dashed down the stairs and out the front doors. Everyone was already inside the car waiting for her. Embarrassed for being the last one she quickly squished herself in next to Gretl. She was too distracted to notice the Captains eyes following her, but the Baroness wasn't.

TBC…


	6. Shadow of a Ghost

**A/N: Yay! I'm finally updating****! The rating might be changing to 'T' sometime in the next few chapters, it just kinda depends on where I go with things. Please read and review!**

Although the children were ecstatic and talkative, dinner was tedious for the adults, especially Georg. He was trying with utmost difficulty to ignore Maria's charming smile which never left her face as the children told her all about their day. _She would be a perfect mother, _he thought as he watched her ruffle Kurt's hair.

He turned around to see the waiter passing by their table.

"Excuse me, could we get the bill?"

The man nodded and walked away.

Georg looked up surprised to find Maria's eyes on his.

"Are we leaving?" She mouthed.

"Yes." he whispered back softy.

"Alright children finish up your last few bites. We are leaving in a few minutes." Maria announced, addressing the entire table. There were several groans of protest.

The baroness spoke.

"Georg, what about desert? Surely they deserve a nice treat after their hard work today."

The children immediately became silent, waiting for their father's response.

He sighed. "I've already asked for the bill, maybe another night."

Before the children could begin complaining again Maria piped up. "I think there are some cookies at the house. If it's alright with you Captain they could have a few of those?"

The children looked eagerly at their father.

He smiled. "An excellent idea Maria!"

The children gave a few excited 'thank you's' and began to gather their coats.

The baroness scowled. _What about her idea? Surely the restaurant's deserts were much better than a couple of old cookies. And the Captain called her Maria now? Wasn't that inappropriate? _She tried to push back her jealous feelings, reminding herself that the Captain's infatuation with the young girl would soon end._ He would never marry someone who was so far below him in status_, she reassured herself.

--

Once back at the house Maria gave the children their cookies and put them to bed. After quietly closing the last door, she stole down the stairs and outside for a peaceful, evening walk among the gardens. She was just passing the gazebo when she spotted the Captain sitting on the bench inside. She would have continued on her walk not wanting to disturb him if it weren't for his suppressed but audible sobs. Slowly she approached him and put a gentle hand on his back.

"Not now Elsa, please." He responded trying to shake her off.

She dropped her hand to the side but did not move.

"Georg, I'm not Elsa."

He started, his eyes snapping up to see the woman sitting beside him.

"Maria… I'm sorry, I didn't realize it was you." He said softly.

"I can leave if you like. I just thought you might need some comfort.'

"No, no… please stay." He answered quickly.

She smiled. "Do you want to tell me what was bothering you or do you just need someone to distract you?"

"I was just missing… her."

"Agathe?"

He nodded. "Every time I see my children interact with you I'm reminded. It's not a bad thing; in fact it's the best thing that has happened to this family since she passed away. Sometimes though when I look at you I feel like I'm seeing her. It's hard for me to be away from you."

He gazed into her eyes nervously; afraid he had told her too much.

Maria didn't know how to respond. She was so confused._ Why was her heart all jittery? What was this increasing desire she had to be close to him? Did he feel the same or was she just a substitute for his dead wife, a shadow of a ghost? _She wanted to hold him and tell him that it was okay. That she would never leave him and the children. Her subconscious poked at her senses, trying to remind her that just being in his presence would never be enough.

Her words failed her.

"I won't… I couldn't… I wish…" was all she managed to splutter as she felt his face drift closer.

Then her whole body went numb as he softly touched his lips on hers. She couldn't breathe. She barely realized that she was kissing him back, although only lightly.

Suddenly she stopped and pulled away. Everything came back to reality as she became aware of her sin. Her eyes became wide and she jumped up.

"Maria" the Captain said weakly. "I'm sorry, I…"

The tears were fresh in her eyes.

"I have to go!" She cried, her face flushed. With that she turned and ran towards the house, leaving the Captain alone, stunned to silence.

TBC...


	7. Complicated

**A/N: I am SO sorry that I haven't updated for a few weeks. I really don't have an excuse; I've just been neglecting this story. I am damn determined to finish it though so even if it takes me the rest of the year I promise I will do so. Anyways, read and review, thanks for your patience!**

The next day Maria carefully avoided the Captain's eyes and kept busy with the children. Elsa seemed to notice the tension between them and smiled in delight.

Meanwhile Georg was desperately trying to get a moment alone with Maria but he was finding it extremely difficult. He knew she was avoiding him and he wished he could leave well enough alone but he cared for her too much to not apologize.

Between Maria's determined avoidance and the Baroness's constant attempts to sabotage his efforts, it wasn't until all the children were in bed that Georg finally had a chance to be alone with Maria.

He caught her just as she was entering her room to change.

"Maria." He said firmly, grabbing her by the shoulder. "We have to talk."

She shrugged him off and continued into her room. He followed.

"Please…" The Captain begged, as she rummaged through her drawers. "Just allow me to explain."

"What is there to explain?" Maria asked turning around and facing him.

He was shocked to see the tears in her eyes.

"I need to apologize. What I did last night… well I shouldn't have done that."

She considered him for a moment.

"It's just as much my fault as yours." She replied turning away again and wiping her eyes.

He wanted so desperately to wrap his arms around her and comfort her.

"Are we okay now?" He asked nervously.

"Uh huh…" She replied finally locating her nightgown. "Now if you'll excuse me I need to change and get some sleep."

He nodded and left.

As soon as he closed the door Maria removed her dress and undergarments. Slipping into her nightgown she quickly pulled back the covers and got into bed. Although she was exhausted, it was hours before her mind finally found peace. All she could think of was the Captain's soft lips on her own and the guilt that haunted her each time she wished he would kiss her again.

--

The Captains night was much the same. He tossed and turned, desperately trying to sort through his thoughts and feelings. He wanted Maria so badly and yet he was unsure of why. _Was it truly just because she reminded him of Agathe? Or was it something more?_ He couldn't imagine letting her go and yet he was starting to worry that if she stayed much longer he would end up hurting them both, if he hadn't already.

If all he felt for her was the love he still carried for his deceased wife, then things would be simple. He knew he could never use her to fill that gap. However, everything about her seemed much more complex than a pang of longing for something that once was. She was young, spirited, and _so happy._ That was what really got him about her. Her happiness. She had entered his home when he was at his worse and by some miracle had managed to transform his barren, miserable existence into something that seemed tangible. Something that was worth living for. She had brought him alive. Any woman who could do that was truly worth fighting for.

TBC…

**A/N: I'm sorry the chapters are so short… I'm gonna try to work on that too, sometimes they just work out that way though.**


	8. Desire

**A/N: Sorry again for the long period of time between updates. It's summer now so that should speed things up. Please review, it will encourage me to update quicker!**

The next week passed in a blur. Slowly Maria and the Captain became comfortable around each other again. Everyone was busy with preparations for the party and Maria was exhausted by the time the big night came.

Getting ready in her room she suddenly became aware of the extra care she was taking to look nice. She tried to convince herself it was because she needed to look presentable to the guests but she could not entirely deny the true reason. Visions of the Captain handsomely dressed in an expensive black suit kept intruding upon her thoughts as she washed her face and applied powder. Finally she was ready so she headed downstairs.

--

The Captain was struggling with his attire as well. His suit was easy; he had bought a brand new one especially for the occasion. It was his hair that was causing him problems. He swore it was the first morning in years that he had woken up with a chunk of it sticking up and try as he might he could not get it to lie flat. Frustrated, he eventually gave up; reminding himself he didn't care what Elsa thought anyways. He ignored the voice in his head that told him that he cared very much about someone else's opinion.

--

Down at the party Maria found the children quickly. They were standing outside on the patio, watching the dancers in awe. Maria smiled to herself as she saw Friedrich offer Liesl a dance. She had barely approached them when Kurt came bounding over to her.

"Fraulein Maria!" He cried, excitedly.

"Kurt!" She laughed.

As he reached her the orchestra began a new song.

"What's that they're playing?"

"The Landler… it's a European folk dance." She answered dreamily.

"Will you show me? Please?" Kurt asked.

She glanced down at the expectant look on the young boy's face.

"Kurt, I haven't danced that since I was a little girl…" Her voice trailed off.

"Please…?" He asked again, trying to keep his voice neutral and polite.

She considered him for a moment.

"Well… alright."

--

When the Captain finally made his way down the stairs his house was filled with people. As he wandered through the crowded rooms searching for Elsa, he was greeted by an assortment of old friends. Feeling overwhelmed he headed for the patio to get some fresh air. He was not, however, prepared for the sight of Maria, looking more beautiful than ever in a simple blue dress that complimented her features. He enjoyed the sight of her for a moment as he watched her teach his youngest son to dance.

Maria was so involved in coaching Kurt that she practically jumped when the Captain tapped her on the shoulder.

"May I?" Came the impossibly soft, sweet words from his mouth.

Before she could respond he had swept her into his arms and was guiding her effortlessly through the familiar steps of the landler. Her face grew hot each time their bodies brushed each other and she felt sure that she would pass out from an inability to breathe.

As it was, neither noticed the Baroness approach or her attempts at suppressing a harsh glare of jealousy. They were both lost in a dream world, reality far behind them as they flew past each other, moving in step with the music.

The dance seemed to be drawing them ever closer. Each twist and turn urging their lips to join. Perhaps just that would have happened except on one particular turn their noses bumped and Maria stopped dancing, forgetting the steps that came next.

She could now feel her cheeks burning and the watchful eyes of the children and to her horror, the Baroness.

"I don't remember anymore…" She said weakly as the Captain released her.

He just smiled at her as the Baroness strode forward.

"Why that was wonderful!" She cried in fake delight. "What a lovely couple you make!"

The Captain finally turned his attention to her, clearly uncomfortable.

"Shall we?" He asked her.

She took his arm and she led him back into the house. He waited until it was safe to glance back at the patio and was disappointed to see that Maria had disappeared.

--

Safe in her room Maria urged herself to breath. _His hands touching her. His eyes examining her. The hotness of his breathe. The aching desire to join her lips with his. It was all too much. _

She sat on her bed unsure of what to do. She had to go back down to the party at least until the children went to bed. She _had_ to.

All of a sudden there was a knock on the door.

She froze, praying it was just one of the children.

"Come in?"

TBC…


	9. A Painful Truth

**A/N: Thanks for the great reviews! Please keep them coming, more reviews will definitely help the momentum of this story! Rating is now "T" to be safe. It's getting a little iffy. :D**

The door flung open to reveal the Captain's worried face. At the end of their dance he was too distracted to realize the wrong he had done yet again in allowing himself to get close to Maria. His plan was to apologize profusely, however, upon seeing her face he could no longer control himself. Rushing towards her he pulled her into his arms.

She was too stunned to protest and she could not resist his warm embrace. She felt a pleasant shiver run throughout her body as he ran his hands up and down her bare arms. Then their noses brushed and their lips met once again. This time there was no holding back for either of them. They attacked each other hungrily and Maria distinctly felt her mouth open and the Captain's tongue slip inside. It was such a new sensation for her. Never had she been this close to a man. She didn't understand her body's reaction. She seemed to be aching for something that even the most passionate kiss could not satisfy.

The Captain was also plagued by the aching sensation but to him it was familiar. He could feel the arousal throughout his body and he fought desperately against it. He had already hurt her enough. He needed to stop before he did something he couldn't erase. Realizing this seemed to shake him back into reality and he jerked away from her.

"Maria…" He whispered panting, his stomach twisting into knots.

He looked up and expected to see tears in her eyes but was shocked at the calmness he found there instead.

"It's okay…" She answered back slowly.

Thoughts were forming in her head, realizations of what had almost just happened.

"What do you mean?" He asked confused.

"It's okay." She said again, mainly for lack of words.

He started to speak again but she held up a hand to stop him.

"Go back down to the party. We can pretend this never happened."

He was shocked by her response. It was so blank; so emotionless.

"Are _you _okay?" He finally asked when neither of them moved.

"I'm fine." She answered with the same monotone expression.

Muddled by her strange behavior, he turned to leave.

"You'll be down in a moment?"

"Yes." She replied. "I have to get the children to bed. They have something special prepared."

She smiled at this but he didn't see because his back was turned, hand frozen on the doorknob.

"See you then." He called nervously over his shoulder as he opened the door and left.

She moved forward to close it carefully behind him and stood with her ear against the door until she could no longer hear the faint sound of his footsteps.

Sure he was gone she finally sank to the floor and allowed her emotions to take over her. She pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, sobbing hysterically.

If there was one thing she had gathered from that evening, it was that she loved him and she knew that just wasn't allowed. She had already committed deep sin by kissing him, but were her seemingly uncontrollable emotions also wrong? Was it possible for her to somehow bury them?

She sobbed harder when she realized the answer to her second question. _Yes_, she could bury them. But she couldn't bury them here. She had to leave before it got worse, before something happened that she couldn't take back.

She thought of the children and their happy, excited faces when they saw her. She thought of Uncle Max's charming jokes and awe of her musical talent. She thought of the Baroness and her guilt ebbed away slightly as she realized that would at least the children would have someone to be a mother to them. But then her thoughts turned back to the Captain and it felt as if her heart had split in two.

_His smile..._

_ His laugh..._

_ His voice, always music to her ears, whether he was talking or singing..._

_ The looks he gave her..._

_ His love for his children..._

_ His love for her... Did he love her? _

_And then… his kiss._

She shuddered involuntarily and forced the image out of her mind. She could never think of him in that way again.

Slowly she stood up and went over to her bag and dug through for a pen and her journal. Tearing out the first blank page she sat on the edge of her bed and began to write, trying to keep her tears from smearing the ink.

_Dear Georg…_

She crumpled the paper immediately and threw it to the floor. She ripped off a fresh sheet and began again.

After several more unsuccessful tries, including a letter attempting to explain her feelings for him, she finally came up with something that seemed appropriate.

Sighing, she folded the letter and set it on top of her bag, leaving her crumpled attempts on the floor. Then she took a deep breath and headed downstairs to finish up the evening with the children.

She would make the most out of their little performance, as it would be their last. She just prayed silently that she could stand the Captain's presence for a bit longer.

The only thought that kept her moving was her departure. As soon as the children were tucked away she would pack up her things and leave. Everyone would be so caught up in the party that they wouldn't notice her disappearance until she was long gone. Safely back at the abbey she would be able to plead forgiveness, and hopefully in return she would be cleansed of her sins. Then she could forget his face. Forget her feelings. Forget everything that had transpired in the Von Trapp home. The only problem was... what if she wanted to remember?

TBC...


	10. So long, farewell

**A/N: I apologize again for the delay in updates and I appreciate so much all the wonderful reviews on the last chapter. Please keep it up!**

Georg's eyes darted around the room searching desperately for Maria. It had been ten minutes since he had left her and it appeared that she still had not rejoined the party.

"You seem rather distracted Georg." The Baroness observed. When he didn't respond she tapped his shoulder impatiently.

"Are you looking for someone?"

"Huh?" He turned towards her, having forgotten she was there.

She began to repeat her question but was interrupted by Maria's voice, which carried easily above the crowd.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, the children of Captain Von Trapp wish to say goodnight to you."

The Captain instantly began moving forward, wending his way to the front so that he had a better view. The Baroness followed behind him scowling.

The children were arranged neatly on the staircase, flashing brilliant smiles at the audience before them. Just as Georg reached the front of the crowd, they began to sing, their warm voices filling the corners of the room.

_There's a sad sort of clanging from the clock in the hall…_

_And the bells in the steeple too…_

_And up in the nursery an absurd little bird is popping out to say cuckoo… cuckoo… _

The Captain smiled at them proudly, temporarily forgetting his search for Maria. Then his eyes caught sight of her, standing to the side in the shadows. She was staring determinedly at the children. Every once in awhile Gretl or Marta would glance up at her nervously and she would give them a reassuring nod.

_So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, adieu..._

_Adieu, adieu, to yieu and yieu and yieu,…_

The Captain tried to focus on his children but kept sneaking glances over at Maria, hoping to catch her eye. She seemed to be purposefully avoiding him and it wasn't until the last verse that she moved at all. Turning her body she faced Georg and locked eyes with him. He watched as she joined the children and sang the last few notes.

_Goodbye…_

_Goodbye…_

_Goodbye…_

For a split second afterwards she held his gaze and he could see the unspoken message in her eyes. He stumbled forward but before he could reach her he felt a tug at his shoulder. He whirled around to meet Elsa's impatient glare. He ignored her and turned back towards Maria, only to discover she was gone. Reluctantly, he took the Baroness's arm and led her into the dining hall. He promised himself that as soon as he could spare a moment, he would find Maria and would somehow make things right.

--

Maria dashed up the stairs and into her room. As she gathered that last of her things she could hear the muffled chatter of the crowd moving further away and she guessed that it was time for dinner. She sighed in relief, realizing that it would be the perfect time for her to leave. The hallway would be empty and she could easily exit through the front door without anyone noticing.

She took once last sweeping look of her bedroom and then left, closing the door quietly. When she reached the bottom of the stairs she pulled her goodbye letter from her pocket and set it on a table in the foyer, praying that the Captain would find it there.

When she reached the front door she felt her vision fog and tears began to slide down her face.

"Goodbye…" She whispered to the empty hallway. And then she left.

--

The Captain sweated nervously throughout the dinner. He tried to focus on the conversation around him but found it increasingly difficult as time dragged on. Finally, after being asked for the third time if he was feeling okay, he excused himself to use the restroom. As he stood up he caught Elsa's eyes and he could feel the suspicion behind them. He ignored it and focused on keeping a steady pace when he exited the room.

Out in the hall, he broke into a run, panting up the stairs and not stopping until he reached Maria's room. Once in front of her door, he knocked lightly, and then a little harder when there was no answer. After waiting several seconds he became impatient and pushed open the door.

The first thing he noticed was her dresser doors which stood open revealing empty hangers. As he numbly scanned the room he also saw that her bags were gone and her bible no longer sat on the nightstand by her bed. He felt his breathing become shallow as the tears he had held inside began to overwhelm him. He left the room, unable to bear the emptiness inside it.

Slowly he made his way down the stairs, unsure of what to do. He knew he couldn't rejoin the party this way. It was when he made it to the bottom that he noticed the white piece of paper propped against a vase on the table in the hallway. With shaking hands, he picked it up and unfolded it carefully.

_Dear Captain and children,_

_There are no words to describe my regret that I have to leave you. The time I've spent with you has been the most wonderful in my life and I will never forget it. It is my hope that I have been able to give you some of the love that you have all given me and that you have it in your heart to forgive me. _

_It is difficult for me to explain my reason for parting, as I'm not sure I completely understand it myself. All I can say is sometimes things happen or people change in a way that they can't control. God is telling me it is time to return to the abbey and I must trust that he means well for me._

_I will miss all of you,_

_Maria_

The Captain squeezed his eyes shut, somehow thinking that when he opened them she would magically reappear. When she didn't he crumpled the letter in his hands and threw it onto the floor, pursing his lips to keep his sobs inside him. After taking several deep breaths he picked the letter up again and stuffed it in his pants pocket. Then he wiped his eyes and headed back into the dining room determined to forget that Maria ever existed.

TBC…


	11. Gone

**A/N: Thanks for the wonderful reviews, please keep them coming!**

The piercing light of the hot summer day snuck its way through the corners of the bedroom window while Brigitta and Louisa lay fast asleep in their beds. The only sound in the quiet afternoon was that of the clock striking twelve. If a stranger had been in the house they might have thought that no one lived there at all.

Several moments after the clock's song ended, Brigitta stirred. As she opened her eyes and yawned she frowned at the amount of natural light that was flooding the room. And hadn't she just heard the clock strike twelve? Stretching she stood up and glanced over at Louisa's still sleeping form. She paused for a moment, thinking about what to do, and then stole quietly out the door and down the staircase, her jet-black hair flopping behind her.

The kitchen was just as silent as the rest of the house. It was as if a witch had cast a spell a spell of endless sleep. Brigitta saw from the clock that it was indeed after twelve o'clock. Where was Maria? She always woke the children up much earlier.

Just then there was a shuffling of feet and Brigitta whirled around. Her father sidled into the kitchen still in his nightwear, his hair tousled and his face red and blotchy as if he had been crying.

"Good morning Brigitta."

His voice sounded pleasant enough but there was no mistaking the sadness behind it.

"What's going on?" She whispered.

He raised his eyebrows in confusion.

"Where's Maria?"

--

Maria awoke to the familiar voices of the nuns, their beautiful singing carrying throughout the abbey and welcoming her home. She had always loved to wake up to their sweet voices but today she only felt irritated. She wished that she could just pull the covers over her head and disappear.

Instead she got up and slowly dressed in her postulant's garb. Looking in the mirror, she noticed for the first time how pale she was. The only color on her face was the puffy redness around her eyes where she had rubbed them raw from crying.

Sighing, she took a deep breath and left. While passing through the hallways and courtyard she kept her head down, avoiding eye contact with the nuns that she passed by. She could feel heads turning to stare but she ignored them, determined to reach her destination without speaking.

Once inside the church she quietly took her seat in the back and watched as the choir finished their song. Mass ended and slowly the church emptied. Finally only Maria and two other nuns remained. She was relieved to find that she didn't know either of them.

Feeling more comfortable, she stood and walked over to the alter. Once she reached it she kneeled down and began to pray.

--

The children stood quietly on the porch, watching the adults make small talk. The Captain tried to ignore their gloomy looks as he poured himself some pink lemonade.

"I don't believe it father."

"Don't believe what, Brigitta?" He asked pretending to be confused, though he already knew the answer.

"About Fraulein Mara."

"Oh… Fraulein Maria! Didn't I tell you what her note said? I'm sure I did."

All seven children shook their heads.

He sighed and continued, trying to keep his voice cheery.

"She said she missed her life at the abbey too much, she had to leave us. And that's all there is to it."

He turned back to Elsa and Max, clearly trying to emphasize that the conversation was over. The children ignored this and persisted.

"She didn't even say goodbye!" Louisa complained.

"She did in her note."

"That's not the same thing!" She retorted and the rest of the children nodded vigorously in agreement.

"Fatha…" Gretl asked when he didn't respond.

"Hm?"

"Who is our new governess going to be?"

"Well…" He paused nervously and stood up.

"You're not going to have a new governess."

It was the children's turn to fake confusion.

"We're not?"

"No… you're going to have a new mother." As he spoke he gestured towards the Baroness who gave the children a reassuring smile, which they did not return.

"A new mother?" Liesl asked, trying to keep her voice calm.

"We talked about it last night and it's all settled. We are all going to be very happy!"

Though his words should have been reassuring, it was obvious from his tone that he didn't believe a word he was saying. Despite this he gave the children a nod and one by one they walked up and gave the Baroness a small kiss on the cheek. The silence that had fallen over them spoke more than any words could; this change was going to be a difficult one.

--

Later that night the Captain tossed and turned in his bed. He couldn't get the children's unhappy faces out of his mind. It had been a long time since he had considered their feelings in the decisions he made and he was surprised to find how much it bothered him that they were clearly against his choice to marry the Baroness. If only Maria was here, she would help them to understand.

Deciding he was too restless to sleep he stood up and grabbed a candle from the dresser beside his bed. After lighting it, he left his room, tiptoeing down the hallway.

When he reached Maria's former bedroom he was glad to find that the door was already ajar. He stepped inside and closed it softly behind him before making his way to her bed. He was about to pull back the covers thinking that he might for some reason sleep better there, when he caught sight of the crumpled papers littering the floor.

Without a second thought he picked up the paper nearest to him and unfolded it.

Only two words were written on it.

_Dear Georg,_

Intrigued he picked up the next one only to be disappointed as it said the exact same thing. The next four were also identical. It was as if she was trying to tell him something but couldn't bring herself to get past his name.

He had just begun to think that he had found them all when he spotted one last wad of paper in the corner. He walked quickly over to retrieve it and brought it back to the bed, holding the candle close so he could read what was written.

_Dear Georg,_

_I've never felt the way I feel about you. Seeing you embrace your children and knowing that I played some part in helping you do so has warmed my heart. You gave me something wonderful and I will never forget it._

_It may be too bold to say that I love you but I believe that I do. I wish I could be with you forever but I don't think it's what God has planned for me. You must understand then, why I have to leave. _

_Tell the children I'm truly sorry and if they wish to come visit me in the abbey they are welcome any time. I will always be praying for all of you and I hope that the Baroness brings your family as much happiness as you have brought me._

_Please forgive me,_

_Maria_

The Captain set the candle on the nightstand and lay back on the bed. She _loved_ him. She even wanted to be with him. He closed his eyes and cursed himself for letting her go. For what seemed like hours he stayed there, trying to make sense of her letter. Eventually the candle burned out and the room around was completely covered in blackness. As he felt sleep start to claim him, he made a silent promise to himself. _Tomorrow, I'll go after her._ Then he fell into a deep sleep.

TBC…


	12. Visitors

**A/N: I'm so sorry for the long wait on this chapter. The reviews on the last chapter were fantastic and were definitely deserving of a quicker update. I'm going to try my best to be better about updating this fanfic so please keep reviewing! I am so pleased with the responses to this story! Thanks for being patient with me and here is the next installment.**

For Maria, the next day was much the same as the last. She awoke mid morning and headed straight for the church. Hour after hour was spent in prayer without interruption. Despite her stomach's angry protests she ate nothing, save for the body of Christ. She vowed she would not stop for anything until she felt the cool relief of God's forgiveness wash over her.

_Oh holy father…_

_I have sinned… _

_You sent me on a mission and I failed you…_

_I was selfish and I allowed my own desires to distract me from your will…_

_Please God, forgive me for this… please forgive my sins…_

_And help the Von Trapp family to heal from my mistakes…_

_Please do not allow them any more suffering…_

"Fraulein Maria?"

_Please father…_

_Speak to me and tell me I made the right choice…_

"Maria?"

Sister Margaretta put a comforting hand on the young postulant's shoulder. Slowly Maria adjusted herself and turned to face her.

"Are you alright?" The nun asked kindly, her brow furrowed in concern.

Maria nodded, wiping the sweat from her forehead and trying to force a smile.

"Captain Von Trapp is here to see you."

Maria felt her body tense up and her eyes prickle with tears. Though words formed on her lips, no sound came out. She stared down at the floor, avoiding the kind Sister's gaze.

"I will tell him that you're still in seclusion and that he may come by another time."

Maria's head snapped up and her eyes followed Sister Margaretta as she glided swiftly down the aisle and out the church doors. She wanted to yell after her but she could already feel the tears welling up in her eyes and she knew she wouldn't be able to keep her voice steady, so she stayed silent.

--

"I'm sorry Captain but she's not seeing anyone right now."

He closed his eyes and sighed.

"Please Sister Margaretta-- did you explain to her that it's important?"

She shook her head.

"I don't think it would make any difference."

"May I wait?" He finally asked after several moments of contemplation.

"If you wish, but you may be waiting overnight."

"I'll wait until nightfall. If she isn't ready by then I will come back tomorrow."

"I'll let her know… make yourself comfortable." She pointed to the benches that lined the courtyard.

"Thank you Sister Margaretta, but I was wondering perhaps if I may wait in the church? I myself, need some guidance."

She paused.

"You need not a church to speak with God, Captain, but yes, the doors are always open. Follow me."

He walked beside her silently and neither spoke until they reached the huge oak doors. He reached out to pull them open but she put out a hand to stop him.

"Maria is inside right now. Please do not talk to her unless she approaches you."

He nodded and Sister Margaretta stood back so he could open the door.

His entrance was quiet and no one looked up at him. Maria was kneeling by the alter her eyes closed and her head bent down as she prayed. Slowly he made his way towards, placing himself in the same position several feet away. Though she did not look up, he could tell that she felt his presence by the way she shifted her body at his approach. He wanted so desperately to wrap his arms around her and ease her pain, but instead he closed his eyes and prayed to God she would do just that for him.

--

The Von Trapp children huddled together nervously at the gates of the Nonnberg Abbey.

"My feet hurt." Gretl complained as Liesl stepped forward to ring the bell.

"Stop complaining!" Kurt whined back at her before Liesl shushed them both with a warning glare.

They were all exhausted and irritable from walking such a long distance from their house. Luckily though, they didn't have to wait long because moments after the sound of the bell a nun came gliding forward.

"I'm Sister Margaretta. What may I do for you?" Her voice was soft and welcoming, instantly calming their nerves.

"My name is Liesl."

"Yes Liesl?"

"We-- my brothers and sisters-- we want to see Fraulein Maria."

"Fraulein Maria?" She looked confused for a moment but then suddenly she understood.

"Oh Maria!"

They nodded vigorously as she opened the gate and beckoned them inside.

"Wait here." She said firmly after they walked a few steps forward.

They watched anxiously as she strode out of sight. No one spoke and time seemed to drag on forever as they waited for her return.

--

Though she knew Maria would refuse to see them, Sister Margaretta felt that she should make sure. Finally reaching the church, she went inside expecting to see Maria in the same place she had left her, kneeling at the alter and whispering prayers. To her great surprise though the church was empty save for a few nuns scattered throughout the pews. Captain Von Trapp had disappeared as well.

"Sister Sophia? "

The face of a bright young woman tilted up towards her.

"Yes Sister Margaretta?"

"Where is Maria?"

"I believe she left a few minutes ago to find a place where she could talk with her visitor."

Sister Margaretta nodded in understanding. Then having no choice, she headed back to the gates where the children still stood waiting.

--

The children were getting restless and were relieved when they saw Sister Margaretta walking towards them.

"I'm sorry children but Maria is not available to see you today." She replied, their eager expressions quickly changing to disappointment.

Almost immediately they erupted in protests.

"She's our governess!"

"Why isn't she available?"

"She wants to see us, I'm sure!"

"Did you even ask her?"

"All we want to do is talk to her." Liesl finished as Sister Margaretta waved her arms requesting silence.

"I'm sorry but it is not possible right now. You may come back some other time though. I'll tell her that you were here."

Again the children objected but Sister Margaretta began herding them towards the door and soon they were staring at her retreating figure through the gate.

Faces gloomy, they began the long walk home. Preoccupied with their grief and frustration, no one noticed that they were one sister short. Brigitta was missing.

TBC…


	13. Choices

**A/N: Sorry again about the long stretch between updates. I've been having a lot of writer's block problems lately. I'm hoping that this story will be finished fairly soon. I'm thinking about two more chapters, three at the very most. I'll see where it goes though! Please leave reviews and thanks for your patience!**

"Why did you come?" She asked him quietly as they made their way out of the church and into the sunshine.

His heart broke at the defeated tone in her voice and it was a moment before he could reply.

"The children… they miss you."

She nodded.

"Please do tell them I'm very sorry. They are welcome to visit me anytime they like… as long as you're okay with it, of course."

"Yes, yes… I will tell them… but Maria? I mean, Fraulein. Won't you come back?"

She turned away, unable to face the pleading look in his eyes.

"You know I can't do that."

_Why?_ He wanted to ask her, but the question stuck in throat and regardless, he already knew the answer.

"I'm so sorry… Mari-- Fraulein. If there is anything I can do…"

He walked forward and placed his hands lightly on her shoulders. Momentarily, she relaxed into his touch, allowing the pleasant tingling to course through her body.

"There is nothing." She replied lurching away before she could lose control of herself.

"I understand." His voice was soft, defeated.

He turned to go but stopped mid-step.

"At least consider it. Think about the children. They need you."

_I need you..._ His heart screamed inside him.

He watched her for a moment longer but she made no move to respond so he left, his last hope behind him.

--

Brigitta darted across the courtyard and ducked behind a statue just in time to hide from a group of nuns that were headed her way. As she breathed a sigh of relief they passed her hiding place and she was able to catch a snatch of their conversation.

"You heard about Maria?"

They paused a few feet ahead of the statue and Brigitta peeked between its arms, listening carefully.

"Yes, she came back."

"Is it true that a man came asking for her?" A particularly tall nun asked.

"I heard he's some sort of naval hero…" Another answered as they began walking again.

Brigitta strained to hear them but as they moved away their voices trailed off and she was left alone to piece together the information.

--

The Mother Abbess was just finishing a letter when someone rapped lightly on her door. Sighing, she stood and bid her visitor to enter.

"Reverend Mother?" A nun glided forward.

"Is it Maria? Bring her in."

"It's not her." The nun replied.

"Then who is it? Another postulant?"

"It's Captain Von Trapp, he wishes to see you."

A look of surprise flitted across the old woman's face but was soon replaced by a smile.

"Send him in."

--

Maria sat on the bench nearby where the Captain had left her. She knew it was time to visit the Reverend Mother and yet she still didn't feel ready. How could something so obviously wrong feel so good… so _right_?

She was so absorbed in her own inner battle that she even didn't notice Brigitta's presence until the girl was standing right next to her.

"Brigitta!" She cried, greatly surprised, but happy to see her.

"Where did you come from?"

"I know you aren't seeing visitors but I just had to talk to you!"

"What are you talking about? I am seeing visitors. In fact I was just talking with your f…"

"My Father?" Brigitta asked with a sheepish grin.

"You don't have to hide it from me you know."

"Well I really shouldn't be discussing it with you."

"Discussing what?"

Maria laughed and hugged her.

"I'm so glad you came. What was it you wanted to talk to me about?"

"We want you to come back."

Maria's smile faded instantly.

"I can't do that Brigitta."

"But we _need _you! Nothing is the same, everyone is unhappy… even father!"

Her body went numb and she felt her heartbeat quicken.

"Did he tell _you_ that?"

Brigitta frowned.

"Well no. But he doesn't have to say it. He's acting all funny. Every time your name comes up, he changes the subject and starts pretending to be extra cheerful."

"How do you know he isn't just happy?"

"Because he's my father. It's obvious that he's faking it." She answered firmly.

"Alright, alright… I believe you." She put her hands up in defeat.

"Why was he here today anyways?"

"Same reason as you." Maria replied, sighing.

"But please don't mention it to anyone, not even your brothers and sisters."

Brigitta nodded and didn't pry any further.

"Listen, we need to get you back home. Let's go find someone who can call your father."

"I don't want him to know I was here! He'll be furious!"

"Well you certainly can't go all the way home all by yourself. Come on!"

Brigitta groaned, but followed her anyways.

--

"Do you love her?"

He nodded.

"At first I thought I was in love with the idea of her. I was imagining her as my dead wife because she reminded me so much of her. There were times when I almost felt like Agathe was alive again."

"And you don't feel that way anymore?"

He met the old woman's eyes and shook his head.

"No… I feel alive. It was like I had died with Agathe, I couldn't be around anything that was a reminder. I distanced myself from my children and in doing so I sucked away every last bit of a chance for them to heal. But then… when Maria came… things changed. It was hard at first but one day I turned around and my children were smiling again. Soon after I was smiling too. And the music… I still don't know how I lived so long without it."

The Mother Abbess smiled.

"You're a good man, Captain Von Trapp but I cannot make Maria's choices for her anymore than I can make your choices for you. It is up to both of you to decide what the best path is. I hope though, that whatever happens you have both learned something from each other and are able to find your way no matter where life leads you."

"Thank you, Reverend Mother."

"Bless you, my child. Go home to your children now and be the father they've needed for so long."

TBC…


	14. Decisions

**A/N: Again, I am incredibly sorry for the long wait. There are so many wonderful reviewers of this story and I apologize sincerely for making you wait so long. I can't promise how quick I will be able to update again but I can promise I will do my very best to make it sooner rather than later. Please keep leaving reviews, thanks again for your patience!**

"Sister Margaretta!" Maria called anxiously across the courtyard.

She breathed a sigh of relief when the nun turned her head and moved in her direction.

"Maria, please don't make her call my father." Brigitta begged for the fifth time.

"You can't walk home alone Brigitta and you can't stay here either."

"YOU could take me home!" The little girl reminded her.

Maria just shook her head, her eyes focused on Sister Margaretta who was finally in speaking distance.

"Yes Maria?" The nun asked calmly, as she paused to assess the situation.

"This is Brigitta, she is one of Captain Von Trapp's daughters. I was wondering if you could contact the Captain so he could take her home."

The nun smiled.

"Of course. I believe he is still here, so if you want to come with me dear, we can locate him."

Brigitta nodded grudelingly, giving Maria one last pleading look as she stalked off behind the nun.

Maria sighed and watched them go.

--

It was late by the time the Captain and Brigitta made it home. The ride had been silent and Brigitta found it strange that her father failed to scold her for sneaking off.

He finally spoke as they walked in the door.

"What did she say?"

The little girl was surprised by the question.

"She said she wouldn't come back."

He nodded sadly.

"I'm sorry."

Then he strode off, leaving Brigita confused and alone on the stairs.

--

The Mother Abbess was sitting at her desk deeply immersed in her thoughts when there was a soft knock on the door. Sighing, she stood up.

"Who is it?"

"Reverend Mother?" Sister Bertha opened the door a crack and poked her head through.

"Yes, Sister Bertha?" She answered tiredly.

"Maria is ready to see you now."

She nodded.

"Send her in."

Maria entered slowly, averting her eyes and bowing shamefully as she reached the desk.

"Sit down, Maria." The Mother Abbess said kindly.

Maria obeyed immediately, still refusing to look up at her.

"Why did you leave?"

"I… I was frightened…" She whispered.

"Frightened? I just spoke with the Captain. Surely they weren't unkind to you?"

At this Maria's head shot up.

"Oh, no! No, I was confused. I felt. . . . I've never felt that way before. I couldn't stay! I knew that here I'd be away from it. I'd be safe."

"Maria, our abbey is not to be used as an escape." The older woman responded, raising her eyebrows.

"What is it you can't face?"

Maria put her head down again.

"I can't face him again."

"Him?"

The shock in the room was apparent, though it emanated more from Maria's fear of a reaction than the Reverend Mother herself.

"Thank you, Sister Bertha." The woman said quietly, shooing away the nun who still stood quietly by the door.

Sister Bertha bowed herself out and the Reverend Mother moved around her desk so she stood directly beside Maria.

"Captain von Trapp?"

There was a long silence as Maria continued to stare determinedly at the floor.

"Are you in love with him?"

This time her response was immediate and flustered.

"I don't know! I don't know. I-- The baroness said I was. She said that he was in love with me. But I didn't want to believe it. But then he kissed me, and then well I've never felt that way before!"

"Felt what?"

Maria hesitated.

"So wonderful and yet so confused at the same time… but it was so wrong. How can something that feels so good be a sin in God's eyes?"

The old woman sighed, studying Maria's tormented face.

"The love of a man and a woman is holy too. You have a great capacity to love. What you must find out is how God wants you to spend your love."

"But I pledged my life to God. I pledged my life to his service!" She argued fervently.

The Mother put up a hand to stop her.

"My daughter, if you love this man, it doesn't mean you love God less… You must find out. You must go back."

"You can't ask me to do that." Maria responded quietly, holding onto the tears that had formed beneath her eyelids.

"Maria." The Mother Abbess said firmly.

"These walls were not built to shut out problems. You have to face them… You have to live the life you were born to live."

TBC…


	15. Disappointments

**A/N: Thanks for all the wonderful support on this story! I believe I still have another chapter or two to pop out before this fic is complete. Please review and happy holidays!**

The children wandered about in the courtyard staring at each other gloomily. Brigitta had just informed them of the previous day's events and a hopeless cloud had settled in their hearts.

Finally, Liesl spoke up.

"When Fraulein Maria wanted to feel better she used to sing that song…"

"Yes!" Britgitta agreed, attempting to show enthusiasm.

"Let's try it…"

The rest of them nodded halfheartedly and began to sing.

_Raindrops on roses…_

_And whiskers on kittens…_

"Why don't I feel better?" Gretl asked sadly.

Liesl held out her hand and hugged her close as they continued.

_Bright copper kettles…_

_And warm woolen mittens…_

_Brown paper packages, tied up with strings…_

_The are a few of my favorite things…_

Most of the children dropped out, but Liesl, Brigitta, and Gretl continued determinedly.

_Girls in white dresses…_

_With blue satin sashes…_

_Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes…_

The last of their voices faded and they were all but ready to give up when a rich and familiar voice soared towards them.

_Silver white winters that melt into springs…_

The children turned unable to believe their ears and, to their great joy, saw Maria running towards them. They bounded forward, joining back in the song, and ending it with a warm greeting, smiles, and laughter.

"Oh I'm so glad to see you all!"

"We missed you!" Marta replied earnestly.

"Well I missed you too. I have so much to tell you all!"

"We do too!" Several of the children cried, chattering excitedly.

"The most important thing is that father is going to be married." Louisa cut in quickly.

Maria felt as if she had been slapped in the face. Her eyes fell on Brigitta and she wondered if she had known during their entire conversation the day previously. Brigitta's guilty nod confirmed it.

"To who?" Maria choked out, though she already knew the answer.

"Baroness Schraeder." Someone answered.

"Oh… oh I see."

It was then as she glanced up that she saw the Captain standing on the stairs above them, staring quietly at the scene. How much he had heard, she could not tell, but she wished very much for an excuse to run away at that moment. Unfortunately the children followed her gaze and erupted in noise once again.

"Father, look Fraulein Maria is back!" They cried excitedly.

There was a small moment of awkwardness before Maria finally recovered herself and spoke.

"Good evening, Captain."

"Good evening." He replied, his voice showing clearly that he was as equally shocked as she was.

Then, though his eyes never left hers, he spoke to the children.

"Everyone inside for dinner!"

The children responded immediately, oblivious to the dilemma between the adults in front of them. In a matter of seconds Maria and the Captain were alone and the Captain made his way down the stairs towards her.

"You came back…" He said, a question in his tone. He stopped several feet away, staring at her intently.

She opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted by the Baroness, who had just appeared at the top of the stairs and was making her way towards her fiancé.

"Fraulein Maria? You've returned!" She cried, a fake air of happiness in her voice.

"Isn't it wonderful, Georg?" She asked, slipping her arm around his shoulders.

Maria could hardly bear to look at them.

"May I wish you every happiness… you too, Baroness. The children tell me you are to be married."

The Baroness thanked her and Captain nodded to Maria, regretfully. He could see the obvious hurt in her eyes.

"You are here to stay?" He asked as she moved up the stairs past them.

She stopped and turned to face him, shaking her head.

"Only until arrangements can be made for another governess."

With that she headed inside, leaving the Captain to stare after her glumly. The Baroness's cool hand on his back did nothing to comfort him and he kept his eyes on the ground as they made their way to dinner.

**TBC…**


	16. Realizations

**A/N: I wanted to get this next chapter out as a Christmas/Holiday thank you to all my readers/reviewers. Thanks again and please enjoy!**

The children chatted eagerly at the table, filling Maria in on everything she had missed. Though she laughed and smiled with them, it was not difficult to tell she was unhappy.

The Captain sat a few seats down, sneaking peaks at her every few minutes, hoping to catch her eye. She refused to look at him though and when he spoke she stared at her plate.

"Fraulein Maria, I'm so happy you're back!" Gretl cried over a roar of laughter at a story Kurt had just told them.

"I'm happy too." She agreed, forcing a smile and tousling the little girl's hair.

"Are you happy Fraulein Maria's back, Fatha?" Marta piped up unexpectedly.

All eyes shifted to the Captain's as he stuttered, taken by surprise.

"Of… of course I am, Marta. Why do you ask?"

"You don't seem very happy." She observed.

"You seem sad."

Silence followed this statement and the Captain was sure Maria's eyes flitted up at him for a split second before returning to her plate.

"Of course I'm not sad." He said finally.

"I'm just very tired, it's been a long day."

This answer seemed to satisfy Marta, but Liesl and Brigitta exchanged wary glances. The rest of dinner lacked it's previous enthusiasm and ended promptly.

The Captain had hoped to catch Maria before she began preparing the children for bed but she was gone the instant everyone was excused.

Frustrated he made his way upstairs to his room, deciding to turn in early.

He was just about to change into his eveningwear, when there was a soft knock on the door.

"Come in." He called, hoping it was Maria.

He felt a wave of disappointment as the Baroness's sleek form appeared in the doorway.

"Oh hello, Elsa." He said quietly, trying to hide his lack of enthusiasm.

"Hello, dear."

She smiled at him as she walked forward to plant a kiss on his cheek.

"What are you doing hiding yourself away so early?"

"Oh… I am truly tired. I was thinking of calling it a night."

"Oh but Georg, you can't be serious? Wouldn't you rather have a nice glass of wine with me first? We could sit out on your balcony… it would be quite romantic."

He hesitated.

"I suppose… " He replied reluctantly.

"I will let Frau Schmidt know to bring the wine. Meet you in oh let's say… five minutes?"

He nodded and watched her go.

--

Maria gazed out at the setting sun as she tucked Gretl into bed.

"What are you looking at?" The little girl asked her.

"Oh… just the sun. It's pretty when it goes down, huh?"

"Uh huh… Fraulein Maria…?"

"Yes, dear?" She answered pulling her eyes away from the window.

"Please don't ever go away again."

Maria tried to smile but the young girl's words wrenched at her heart.

"I may not always be your governess, but I _promise_ I will never leave you again without saying goodbye. And you can always visit me. Does that sound okay?"

"Okay." Gretl agreed, though she seemed unconvinced.

"Sleep well." Maria whispered, as she bent over and placed a kiss on the girl's forehead.

--

Out in the hallway Maria let loose the tears she had held inside her. The children didn't deserve her absence and deep down she knew that the Baroness could never give them the love they so desperately needed.

"Fraulein Maria?"

The voice startled her from her thoughts and she lifted her tearstained face to see who was speaking to her. Liesl's bright blue eyes were surveying her with concern.

"Oh it's you, Liesl. I'm sorry." She said, attempting to brush away the wetness from her cheeks.

"You're not staying, are you?" Liesl asked her quietly.

Maria shook her head slowly.

"I'm so sorry." She apologized again.

"You don't have to explain. I wish you wouldn't though."

Maria nodded sadly in agreement.

"So do I…" Her voice trailed off and for a moment they both stood in silence.

Finally Liesl bid her goodnight and wandered off to her room. After standing there for several more minutes Maria made her way down the stairs, hoping that a walk would clear her mind.

--

The Captain stood on his balcony staring out into the warm summer evening, awaiting Elsa's arrival. He was already regretting his agreement to spend time with her. Despite his best efforts he could not seem to keep his thoughts away from Maria.

The vision of her face, mingled with shock and hurt, seemed to dance before him and as he scanned the gardens searching for a simple distraction he was dismayed to discover her breathtaking figure moving among the trees.

He squeezed his eyes shut convinced they were playing tricks on him. But there she still was, drifting along like an angel, singing softly to herself. He could just make out her beautiful voice from where he stood and he began to hum along absentmindedly.

As he allowed the sweet melody to surround him, he gave up on the battle in his mind and allowed his thoughts to flow freely. He envisioned her smile, her laughter. He saw her hand on his cheek, her lips moving towards him. He felt her warmth fill his body and he imagined himself holding her. Protecting her.

In his world she would never leave him and he would always love her. And love her he did. Of that he was positive.

It was as he watched Maria's silhouette fade in the distance that he came upon a realization.

Even without Maria, he would never be happy with the Baroness.

He sighed heavily but before he could ponder any further a cool voice interrupted him.

"What's so interesting?"

**TBC...**


	17. Leap of Faith

**A/N: Not sure if anyone is still interested in this fanfic but over the years since I stopped writing I have gotten the occasional message requesting that I finish it. I deeply apologize for the time it has taken me but I am happy to say that I have come back to finish this, _finally_. It has been interesting to read through what I have written and to see how much my writing has changed, and hopefully improved, over the many years of writing this fanfic. There will be one more chapter following this one. Thanks to all those who have read and reviewed! It is because of you that I have come back to finish what I started.  
**

* * *

"_And somewhere out there, is a young lady who I think… will never be a nun."_

As he made his way down to the garden he replayed the Baroness's last words in his mind, still shocked by the decision he had just made.

He had finally realized, as he stood on the balcony with Elsa just minutes before, that continuing their relationship was pointless. No matter how hard he tried to make it work, she would never be able to bring him happiness. Maria had awoken the spark in him that had been lost with Agathe's death and now there was no turning back. Her warmth and exuberance had brought him alive and shown him the potential for a meaningful connection with his children. Whether or not Maria would have him, there was no life for him with Elsa.

He had been greatly relieved when Elsa's reaction had not been one of anger. Although he could see the hurt behind her eyes, she had handled the rejection with class, voicing her own doubts about their relationship and bowing out gracefully.

He had no regrets for asking her to go, but he did feel sorry for hurting her. However, as he entered the garden, he left his thoughts of Elsa behind, focusing all of his energy on searching for the woman he now believed he could not live without.

He found her sitting on a bench near the gazebo, staring down at her hands, a forlorn expression clouding her features.

"Hello." He said, making his presence known.

"I thought I just might find you here."

She stood up, the look of dejection still present behind her eyes. The tension in her face suggested to him that she was preparing to flee and he knew he needed to tread carefully.

"Was there something you wanted?" She asked him carefully.

_Yes, _was his immediate thought. _I want you. _But he opted for a safer response.

"Hmm..? No no no… sit down, please." He gestured to the bench, trying to keep his expression soft and encouraging.

She sat down slowly, keeping her eyes locked on his. The intensity of her gaze was such that he felt the need to turn away momentarily to collect himself. After a short pause, he joined her, making sure to keep a respectful distance between them.

For several minutes they sat there together, the only sound their ragged breathing. The tension between them was building and he struggled to find words to break the silence.

Finally, in an effort to relieve some of the awkwardness, he chuckled and voiced the question he had been turning over in his mind since her return.

"What was it that made you come back?"

He looked up at her, hoping to make eye contact, but she turned her face away, letting out a small sigh before answering.

"I had an obligation to fulfill and I… I came back to fulfill it."

He nodded but he knew she wasn't giving him the whole truth.

"Is that all?"

She sighed again.

"No… I missed the children."

Again he pushed, and as the words slipped from his mouth he felt his heartbeat quicken.

"Only the children?"

She shook her head.

"No… I… I…"

She finally turned to look at him and he could tell from the pained expression on her face she was struggling within herself.

He took a leap of faith as he spoke his next words.

"Maria, I can't loose you again."

Her eyes widened as she soaked this in but the surprise quickly melted back into hurt and sadness.

She stood up and walked away from him.

"I'm sure the Baroness will be able to make things fine for you." She replied, and there was an edge of bitterness in her voice that she didn't quite manage to hide.

"Maria…" He said, willing himself to continue.

"There isn't going to be any Baroness."

She turned around slowly, meeting his eyes again, this time her expression a mixture of hope and doubt.

He could hear the pounding in his heart as he stood, feel the shakiness of his step as he walked towards her. He stopped only a few feet away, his eyes scanning her face for any sign as to what she was thinking.

She let out the breath she had been holding and stepped towards him as well, leaving less than an arm's length between them.

"There isn't?" Her voice was barely a whisper but he could hear in her words all the pain and desire she had been trying to keep at bay.

"No… we've uh… called off our engagement."

It took her only a few seconds to register the meaning of his words and as comprehension dawned upon her face, he closed the gap between them.


	18. Something Good

**A/N: Here is the last chapter, finally! Thank you again to everyone who has read and reviewed. I can't believe it has taken me nearly nine years to finish this fanfic. Some of you may be disappointed that there isn't more to this chapter, but I really wanted to stay true to the characters and to keep this a "T" rating. However, all feedback, whether it is positive or negative, is welcome. Enjoy! **

_It took her only a few seconds to register the meaning of his words and as comprehension dawned upon her face, he closed the gap between them._

"Maria…" His voice came out in a whisper and her whole body tingled as he brushed his hand across her cheek.

Their faces were so close now that she could feel his breath upon her face and there was no mistaking the look of desire in his eyes.

He took his hands and cupped her face. Her cheeks grew instantly hot against his fingers.

"I love you."

He said it with certainty, conviction.

And before she could collect herself enough to respond he was kissing her. Kissing her like he never had before. His arms encircled her body and as he pulled her close she opened her mouth and their tongues collided.

For several glorious moments Maria allowed her physical desires to overwhelm her as she pressed her body into his, gripping his back with her hands.

"I can't believe this is happening…" She moaned. She could feel the excitement building below her waist and her sense of physical urgency was both tantalizing and completely intoxicating.

Still kissing her feverishly, he walked her backwards into the gazebo, pressing her against the wall.

His hands, which had been on her back, now came up to her face and as his legs tangled with hers, she could feel how his physical need matched her own. She pushed herself hard against him, causing him to moan into her mouth.

The kiss broke and her breath came out in short pants as his lips made their way down her neck. His soft kisses made her whole body shiver. She closed her eyes and imagined his hands removing her dress and his tongue and lips exploring more private parts of her body.

His next words indicated that his thoughts were similar.

"Maria…" He mumbled into her collarbone.

"I think we should go… inside."

Her breath caught in her throat and for a few seconds she felt as if she could not resist the temptation. But as she pulled away slightly to meet his eyes, she came to her senses.

He read in it in her face.

"You need to wait."

She nodded and stroked his cheek with her hand. She could see disappointment behind his eyes and she tried to convey in her own that she felt it as well. She kissed him lightly on the lips to reassure him.

"I love you too, Georg," she whispered softly as she stepped away from him in an effort to calm her physical desire. Although her body seemed to scream in protest, she knew that she could go no further until they were joined in marriage.

"Is there anyone I should go to, to ask permission to marry you?" he asked her, as he too, took a step away to collect himself.

She thought for a moment.

"Why don't we ask—

"The children?" he guessed.

She nodded and he pulled her close again. Although both still ached for more, they were no longer plagued by fear or uncertainty. For a long time they just stood together, holding each other and savoring the moment. A great sense of peacefulness washed over them as they left behind all of their heartache in anticipation of the bright future that now lay before them.

The End

**A/N: I probably won't write an epilogue, but I suppose it's always a possibility.  
**


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